Abby
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Abigail "Abby" Grant |
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|---|---|
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Dorley girl |
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| Gender | Female |
| Year of intake | 2009 |
| Year of graduation | 2012 |
| Sponsor | unknown |
| Gender at intake | Cis male |
| Date of birth | 1990-07-28 |
| Name at intake | [show]Gareth "Garry" Grant |
| First appearance | Chapter 3 (mentioned), Chapter 4 |
| Chapters with POV scenes | |
| edit this box | |
Abby (sometimes called Abs or Abigail) is a Dorley graduate and member of staff. She sponsored Melissa and, as of 2020, is now in a polyamorous relationship with her and Shahida. [SD 40]
Abby is 162 cm (5'4") tall. [LL] She is Black with brown eyes, [SD 39] glasses, [SD 38] [SD 47] and shoulder-length hair. [SD 9] Steph considers her "beautiful" and "model-pretty". [SD 16] As a graduate, she seems to enjoy switching between dressing femininely and wearing "ratty" T-shirts around the Hall.
She is extremely close friends with Christine, who attests that Abby is the kindest person she has ever met [SD 19] and that she "prefers to see only the best in everyone", [SD 21] sardonically remarking that "the woman could see the good in the devil, I swear". [SD 6] Melissa recalls Abby is "prone to spiralling" when facing difficult situations. [SD 34]
Abby has a job as a reporter at the local paper, The Almsworth Gazette, and after several years has recently started getting "real" assignments. [SD 4] She returned to reside at the Hall due to the low pay. [SD 6] Abby uses the resources at the paper to help the Hall keep an eye on missing persons reports [SD 4] and first encountered Melissa while on assignment as an intern. [SD 23]
New Personal History
Abby's full name at graduation was Abigail Meyer. After reuniting with her parents, she has changed her surname back to Grant. [SD 31] (She presumably has a trans NPH afterwards, as well.) [SD 38]
Pre-transition
Abby comes from a loving family. [SD 19] She obliquely references "short guy syndrome" in regards to her pre-transition misdeeds. [SD 5] Steph vaguely recounts Abby telling her that she had "behavioural problems" and "hurt someone" prior to being picked up by the Hall. [SD 16] Abby admits that she treated her mother badly. [SD 19]
Melissa alludes that Abby had "a history of having to prove themselves and a habit of choosing the most [...] culturally convenient psychological defence mechanism" and that as a Black child, Abby suffered harsher penalties and less leniency for her "youthful misadventures". [SD 25]
Christine has seen Abby's file "and read in there mostly deep depression and the occasional self-destructive impulse" but notes that "the worst years of Abby’s past are Abby’s alone to share, and she’s always preferred to forget her former self." [SD 19]
In the programme
Abby does not talk about her time in the programme much; Christine has the impression that her sponsor "went particularly hard on her". [SD 5] Steph vaguely recounts Abby telling her that "she fought against this place to begin with, but eventually came to realise that being made to change was the only way she was ever going to change." [SD 16]
Before graduating, Jane recalls that Abby decorated her room by filling it with candles -- "Just candles, candles, candles." [SD 46]
It is alluded that Abby has had bottom surgery. [SD 19]
Sponsoring Melissa
Abby first met Melissa (then living as Mark) while conducting interviews for the Gazette:
“I was just finishing up my degree when we met,” Abigail says. “And we didn’t meet in class — I was a journalism student and he took Physics. [...] I was actually working on something for my internship: I interviewed new students at Saints, asked them how they were coping with the classes, what it was like living away from home, that kind of stuff. A puff piece for one of the junior writers at work.” [SD 23]
Intrigued by Melissa's "empty" demeanor and the sense that she was concealing a secret, [SD 23] Abby began surveilling her, ultimately meeting again outside of Legend the night of November 4th, 2012. From there, Abby lead her up a hill to Almsworth Cathedral and offered her the choice to join the Hall willingly, which she accepted; [SD 24] Christine believes that Abby fell in love with Melissa "right there and then". [SD 21] Aunt Bea okayed Melissa's late entry due to Abby's belief that Melissa would not have survived another year had she not been brought in. Abby reported at the time that you could "see the end" in her eyes. [SD 21] (Indeed, Melissa had been planning to kill herself that night [SD 24] and was only "hours away from ending it".) [SD 25]
In the basement, Melissa noticed an immediate improvement in her mental wellbeing after receiving her first injection. When pressed, Abby swore her to secrecy and told her the truth: that she was being dosed with estrogen. The knowledge spurred a sudden, "staggering" revelation as Melissa realized she was trans; a realization she kept to herself, having been trained by living with her abusive father to turn her emotions inward and never "admit her thoughts" [SD 24] and believing "it would be the end of her, whether from violence or from shame". (The Dorley staff would not work out the secret until after she had graduated.) [SD 45]
A late addition to the already-established social structure in the basement and an "easy target", [SD 21] Melissa's secret intent to "keep her head down, learn everything from Dorley there was to learn, and get the hell out" only further compounded her isolation, with her fellow basementees reading her "refusal to engage" as snobbish behavior. [SD 24] As a result, Melissa spent most of her time with Abby, who was ill-equipped to meet her needs; Christine reports that Abby was "a first-time sponsor who really wasn’t cut out for the job… It was a recipe for isolation and heartache." [SD 21] For her part, Melissa recalls that her year in the basement was "hell". [SD 23] Despite Abby's inexperience and questionable results, Tabitha believes that she was "well matched" to Melissa. (Jane believes Abby "got lucky".) [SD 22] Years later, Christine surmises that "everyone else here was a complete freak to Melissa because, I don’t know, she was too pretty, or too kind, or too sad, or too weird, or something" and that the Hall inflicted more trauma than necessary due to "carelessness" and understaffing; Rabia argues that it was "more complicated than that". [SD 23] In hindsight, Melissa states that she "mostly" made things hard for herself at the Hall and that she did "the stupid version" of what Steph did. [SD 25]
Though isolated, Melissa recalls that her second year at the Hall "wasn’t too bad" and her third was "actively quite nice". [SD 23] Abby actively subverted some of the standard procedures of the programme for Melissa's sake -- Melissa recalls that Abby "only pretended" to make her participate in the Hall's "humiliation rituals" emphasizing the changes to her appearance. [SD 25] Abby also bent the rules for her to pick a new name that shared an initial with her deadname, a practice frowned upon by the Hall for opsec purposes. [SD 45]
Melissa credits Abby with showing her she "had value" as a person. [SD 25]
Falling in love
In her second year, with her gender dysphoria abated, Melissa discovered that she was no longer repulsed by physical contact after experimentally indulging in her "crush" on Abby by kissing her and then initiating intimate contact. When Abby attempted to break things off the next day, Melissa persisted. The two fell in love, and despite both recognizing the unethical nature of the relationship [SD 23] [SD 24] "neither of them had been strong enough to walk away". [SD 24]
Abby recalls that Melissa was her "world" for a long time and that their relationship was a badly kept secret at the Hall, suspecting that "everyone" knew. [SD 23]
Melissa's departure
Melissa ultimately left the Hall "the first chance she got" [SD 21] and the two remained in contact for some time [SD 6] with Abby texting and visiting her in Manchester "constantly" [SD 21] until Melissa started dating other women and cut off communication with Abby, [SD 16] asking for space sometime before the start of the fall semester started at Saints. [SD 23]
[Melissa] said to me once that she didn’t have a way to know—” [Abby] has to stop for a second, to wipe her eyes, to swallow, to breathe, “—to know that we were ever real. So she started seeing other people. To, I think, find something that felt real to her? I don’t know. She was never super clear about that, and I didn’t want to go on at her, because, I mean, we really shouldn’t have gotten so close, not in the way we did. She was right, really. How could it be real? She was in the worst place of her life, and I was the one who held her hand through it. We should never have so much as kissed.”
Christine reports that Abby was "a mess" when Melissa left the Hall [SD 6] and that it broke Abby's heart. [SD 21] By late 2019, Pippa states that the two's current relationship is "complicated"; [SD 19] Abby confesses that she has not moved on. [SD 23]
After Melissa graduated, Abby heavily redacted her file. [SD 11] (Bella states that the two always "kept secrets".) [SD 23] In Manchester, Melissa was given Abby's old taser "for protection". (The taser remains registered in Abby's name, suggesting Abby sent it to her surreptitiously; [SD 25] Tabitha later states it had been "stolen".) [SD 45]
As a member of staff
Abby confides to Christine that in her "darker moments" she has told herself that the modern incarnation of Dorley is "no different" to the Hall under Grandmother's tenure, though she recognizes they "don't take boys for fun", rather because they believe they can be "saved". She states that she has "so many justifications” for the Hall's actions. [SD 18]
By 2019, Abby is a "quite senior" member of the Hall [SD 9] and jokes that she is "important" [SD 38] (though not granted some of the highest privileges, [SD 9] possibly ranking somewhere under Monica, Tabitha, and Indira) but is generally regarded as too permissive and nice to be allowed to sponsor a new basementee after her time with Melissa. [SD 10] [SD 22] (Christine remarks that she is "retired" from sponsoring.) [SD 23] After moving back into the Hall after taking a low-paying job at The Almsworth Gazette, Abby helps out with administrative duties at the Hall part-time. She has the "best" corner suite on the third floor. [SD 38]
Christine and Steph
By October 2019, Abby is close friends with Christine and apparently occasionally serves as a stand-in sponsor for her when Indira is out of town [SD 4] or otherwise occupied. Christine recalls Abby introducing herself a day or two after she moved up from the basement -- Abby kept her company for an hour while she was overwhelmed by the chaos of the kitchen. As a result, Abby was the first person Christine told her new name to after receiving it from Indira. [SD 6]
Unbeknownst to Abby, Christine is secretly responsible for bringing in Stefan, the last addition to the 2019 intake, having contrived the circumstances for his abduction. After quickly regretting her decision, Christine attempts to prevent the situation from getting worse before she can somehow exonerate him; when Abby realizes that Stefan knows Melissa, Christine convinces her to delay letting Melissa know of Stefan's presence in the basement in order to avoid a fuss. [SD 5] Soon after, Steph confesses to Christine that she is actually a closeted trans woman seeking to use the Hall's resources in order to facilitate her own transition; Christine reluctantly agrees to help keep her secret so that she can stay in the programme. Afterward, she lets Abby in on the secret through a lie of omission, not revealing that she is responsible for bringing in Steph. Abby agrees to feign ignorance of Steph's gender in order to help her. [SD 6] Christine sets up a private Consensus channel for Abby to talk with Steph; in their first chat, Abby suggests Steph befriend Aaron for safety purposes. [SD 7]
When Pippa charges into the kitchen in a bad mood on October 25th, Abby comforts her, prompting her to vent about her difficulties figuring out Steph's confoundingly innocent behavior. At Christine's suggestion, Abby offers to go down and speak with Steph; there, she reassures her and comforts her with a hug. The two agree on what to tell Pippa to explain Steph's compliant behavior. [SD 9] Afterward, at Aunt Bea's birthday party, Abby reports back to Christine, informing her that the basementees' first medical examination has been moved up and will be happening the following day. Later at the party, Pippa asks Abby for help sponsoring Steph, but when Abby takes the idea to Aunt Bea, she assigns Maria instead. [SD 10]
Following the medical examinations, Abby is present in the kitchen when Steph comes upstairs to confront Aunt Bea regarding the sexual assault the intake experienced at the hands of Karen. Abby intentionally lets slip that she was once in the programme, freeing Steph to no longer feign ignorance about part of the sponsors' backstories. After the meeting, Abby escorts Steph back downstairs and again comforts her with a hug. [SD 12] Later, Abby is present in Christine's bedroom when Maria briefs Christine, Paige, and Pippa on Karen's history as Grandmother's accomplice and her removal from the Hall. Afterward, Abby confides in Christine that she thinks Aunt Bea may have Karen killed. [SD 12]
When the truth of Steph's origin is finally revealed on November 9th, Abby is "thrilled" that things at the Hall are "weird" again. [SD 16]
Reunited with family
Abby was close with her family prior to being basemented and the Hall's strict no-contact rule for graduates has been "particularly difficult" for her. [SD 5] Her family has never stopped looking for her in the years since her abduction, retaining a private investigator the entire time. [SD 18]
In the time since Melissa cut off contact, Abby has become "restless"; [SD 19] Indira notes that she has spent a notable number of nights away from the Hall throughout October and early November, presumably for her job. [SD 16]
Following Leigh's attack on Maria on November 27th; Abby follows Christine to the hospital to watch over Maria. [SD 17] Early the next morning, she helps calm Maria, who awakes suffering from a PTSD-like nightmare. Afterward, as they wait for Bea to arrive, Maria tells Abby she wants to diversify the breakfasts in the basements with "something nice". Later, outside the hospital room, Christine muses aloud about the Hall allowing Maria to reconnect with her parents, which Abby explains would be impossible -- Maria's parents were both killed by Grandmother. She informs Christine of Indira's "pilot programme" for reuniting Dorley girls with their parents after a five-year monitoring period. [SD 18] Back at the Hall, Abby discovers Christine distraught after finally opening the last reports on her family and consoles her, suggesting she go visit her mother. Abby apologizes for not being around recently and asks Christine to meet her in secret the following Saturday. [SD 18]
On November 30th, Abby meets Christine at The Fallen General pub in Almsworth and reveals to Christine that she has contacted her family's private investigator and that they are en route to the restaurant. When her parents and younger cousin Derek arrive, Abby reveals herself to them as a trans woman. [SD 19]
Abby’s story is simple, and like all the best lies is constructed partly of truths: she was an unhappy child, a restive teen and a disruptive university student, and she came to a true understanding of herself after hitting rock bottom, early in her degree. The fictions are that she left Saints for a long time so she could transition up in Manchester, which is where she met a young, pre-transition Christine. [SD 19]
The reunion goes well. Afterward, Abby again encourages Christine to go see her mom. [SD 19] (Christine reveals the secret to Paige shortly after.) [SD 23] Back at the Hall, Abby is present when Steph comes upstairs after confessing her feelings to Aaron; she reassures Steph that she will be okay. [SD 19]
In the following weeks, Abby is absent from the Hall while she stays with her family, allowing the other residents to assume she is out working or visiting Melissa. [SD 22]
Melissa and Shahida
On December 11th, Shahida, Melissa's best friend from her past life, is seen putting up a missing persons poster for Mark Vogel, Melissa's old identity, at the Hall. Christine is summoned from across campus to get in touch with Abby, who could then get in touch with Melissa. Once briefed, Christine and Paige pay a visit to the Grants' home to retrieve Abby. Abby has not met Shahida but knows of her from Melissa. On the way back to the Hall, Abby breaks down in the car as she reveals the full extent of her relationship with Melissa to Christine and Paige. [SD 23]
Back at the Hall, Abby calls Melissa to brief her on Shahida's activities and inform her that she has secretly reunited with her parents. After discussing the situation with Melissa, Abby enlists Christine to accompany her to meet with Shahida at the Egg Nation café outside campus to provide a cover story; on the way, she reveals to Christine that Melissa has "begged" her not to tell Shahida that she is dead, a breach of protocol. At the meeting, Shahida's suspicions are raised by Christine's panicked reaction when Abby accidentally refers to Mark as "she". [SD 23]
Late that night, Melissa falls into a nostalgic mood reflecting on her time at the Hall and, fighting the urge to call Abby, decides to check in on her intake, friends, and family on the Hall's intranet instead, where she is horrified to discover that Steph has been taken by the Hall. [SD 24]
Melissa arrives at the Hall to liberate Steph on December 12th. Christine, who is present in the kitchen as she arrives, immediately messages Abby and a group of other sponsors who are out queueing to vote in the general election, calling them back to the Hall. By the time Christine subdues Melissa, the group has arrived at the Hall to find Shahida detained in the kitchen by Tabitha, who sends Abby to find Melissa and "sort her out" while Tabitha and Paige read in Shahida. Abby finds Melissa and Christine in the conservatory and the other girls clear out to leave them alone; Abby soothes Melissa as she cries in her arms. The two eventually move to Abby's room and Abby catches Melissa up on Steph's story and Shahida being read in as Melissa cleans herself up. The two share an awkward kiss before Abby brings Melissa to the second-floor kitchen to eat and speak with Steph privately. [SD 25] Abby and Shahida speak briefly at some point before Shahida meets Melissa; Abby's agitation during the short interaction causes Shahida to realize that she is a "rival" for Melissa's affection. The next morning, Abby continues to give the two space, not wanting to be a "third wheel", despite Melissa's reassurances. [SD 26]
By December 16th, Abby is still has avoiding Melissa and Shahida around the Hall; Christine and Indira attempt to keep her occupied -- they spends the evening watching all of the Shrek movies and eating pizza with Paige, Hasan, Naila, Ren, Pippa, Charlie, and others on the fifth floor. Shahida, feeling guilty, encourages Melissa to reach out. [SD 28] Believing it better to stay out of their lives, Abby continues to stay away from the Hall during the holidays, not responding to texts or calls while spending Christmas Eve with her family at an AirBnB; she begins using her original last name, Grant, in private consensus chats with Christine. The distance and sloppy opsec leaves Christine distraught with worry. Secretly, Abby begins planning to leaving the Hall. [SD 31]
On Christmas, Shahida finally convinces Melissa to contact Abby before they start intensifying their relationship. [SD 32] Before they can make contact, Bea instructs Maria to begin the process of bringing Abby in on December 30th -- the Hall having recently become aware of her reunion with her family while chasing down loose ends following Declan and Trevor's disappearance. [SD 34] (The secret spreads quickly through the Hall afterward.) After volunteering, Christine takes Paige and Pippa to go fetch Abby on January 5th. [SD 37] Back at the Hall, Abby agrees to Bea's terms -- updating her NPH and sorting things out with Melissa and Shahida. After her meeting with Bea, she reunites with Melissa, Shahida, and Amy; Abby attempts to apologize to Melissa, who waves her off. The quartet spends the night in Abby's room eating leftovers and watching Mean Girls before falling asleep. [SD 38] Melissa returns to Manchester the next morning; Abby and Shahida both kiss her before she leaves. Melissa, stressed about having to make a choice between the two women she loves, quickly slips back into bad habits and is not eating well. [SD 39]
With the status of the three's relationships still in the air, Abby and Shahida travel together to surprise Melissa with a visit at her flat in Manchester on January 11th. While eating at the cafe in Afflecks market, they are approached by a girl who flirts with both Shahida and Abby, inadvertently triggering an epiphany in Shahida -- afterward, back at the flat, while Melissa is in the shower, Shahida initiates a kiss with Abby, who returns her affection. Shahida reveals that she has already proposed the idea for a polycule to Melissa. [SD 39]
The three girls have a cozy morning in bed together the next day and reflect on their experimental attempts at sex the night before. Abby remarks that they have probably settled "a dozen bets back at Dorley Hall". Abby and Shahida sneak out while Melissa is sleeping and restock her fridge before leaving; they instruct her that they will be checking on her nightly to make sure she is eating properly. [SD 40]
Melissa returns to the Hall on January 18th to take up residence in a corner suite granted by the Hall until she and Abby and Shahida have ascertained that they are "stable" as a throuple and can move in together. [SD 44]
Further adventures
Abby goes out to dinner with Melissa, Shahida, Rachel, Amy, and Jane on January 20th and is present when Amy announces hir new pronouns. [SD 44]
Melissa disappears on January 23rd amid news of the attempt on Elle Lambert's life reaching the Hall, leaving Abby distraught and worried for her safety. [SD 44] Looking through the security logs with Christine, it becomes apparent that Melissa has impulsively gone to see Jenny Yau, her late mother's lover. Abby receives a phone call from Melissa confirming she is at Jenny's during a Peckinville briefing on Elle's status, as well that she inadvertently ran into her brother, Russ, who is "right pissed off". Tabitha immediately activates Melissa's newly revised NPH as her original identity and heads out to retrieve her. Back at the Hall, Abby collects Melissa and takes her upstairs and locks them in her room together on the first floor overnight while Melissa spirals. [SD 45]
The next day, Melissa meets with Bea and Maria, who inform her that the Hall will be providing a fully-furnished house just off campus in order to strengthen her NPH and distance her from the Hall for opsec purposes. Abby will also be moving in with her, having become "barely involved" in Hall admin as of late, and in hopes of "anchoring" her in Almsworth so that she doesn't drift away to her parents' house. Abby is moved in by the 27th and is present when Melissa first arrives at the house. [SD 45]
Pre-transition associates
- Derek ("Rick"), Abby’s cousin. He is around twenty-four years old and is about the same height as Abby. [SD 19]
- Diane and Robert Grant, Abby’s mother and father. They are "demonstrative and generous with their affection" and seem to have taken Abby's return (and transition) in stride. [SD 23] After reuniting with Abby, they join a support group coincidentally lead by Aasha Chetry, Indira's mother. [SD 37]
Trivia
- Abby is apparently the Dorley girl "most ready" to discuss fringe gender theories and other "gender apocrypha" with Paige. [SD 9]
- She seems to enjoy deliberately picking out mugs with "the worst, most awful" jokes on them when serving drinks. [SD 16]
- Abby's sandwich order at The Fallen General is a roast beef sandwich with cranberry sauce. [SD 19]
- Abby's ringtone for Melissa is the chorus from Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble". [SD 45]
Notes on biographical details
- Year of intake and Year of graduation: Abby tells Stephanie that she was in the basement "ten years ago", which would have been 2009. [SD 9]
| Dorley girls (and a few non-girls) | |
|---|---|
| 2009 intake | Abby |
| 2012 intake | Autumn, Melissa (Abby), Nell, Tash |