Adam
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Adam |
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|---|---|
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Intake |
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| Gender | Male |
| Year of intake | 2019 |
| Sponsor | Edy |
| Gender at intake | Cis male |
| Date of birth | 1999 or 2000 |
| First appearance | Chapter 5 |
| Chapters with POV scenes | |
| edit this box | |
Adam is a boy in the 2019 intake. Uniquely, he is related to his sponsor, Edy, who was raised in the same cult. [SD 39]
At intake, he is slim but "not at all weak" and is capable of holding his own in an arm-wrestling match with Leigh. [SD 13] By December, he is "probably slimmer than Steph" and his hair is getting long. [SD 32] Edy sees him as the "spitting image" of herself at his age and he is starting to develop feminine features in the same way she did. [SD 38] Steph noticies that the two have the same eyes. [SD 42]
Adam keeps a diary and enjoys playing Stardew Valley. [SD 30]
After Christmas, he wears a matching necklace given to him by Edy. [SD 33]
Pre-transition
Adam was raised in Christian cult called the New Church. [SD 9] The oldest son [SD 18] of the cult's leader, he was groomed to take over the cult as the next "Voice" of the Church after his father. One of the main tenets of the New Church seems to be that God's grace is conditional. [SD 18] Edy describes his upbringing as a "violent and oppressive environment" [SD 32] of "systematised cruelty"; [SD 38] Steph suspects that Adam has seen or been made to commit violence against women in the past. [SD 32]
Adam's stated beliefs prior to intake include that "demonic influence in secular culture is responsible for the glorification of homosexuality" [SD 5] and that "the ‘sins of the flesh’ originate in demonic temptation". [SD 9] Edy is aware that he also has been conditioned to believe that transgender people are "unclean" "devils of the secular world" and that anything they touch is likewise unclean. [SD 30]
Adam was not a student at Saints before being kidnapped; [SD 38] Pippa reveals to Steph that it was Edy's idea to bring Adam into the programme. [SD 18] Indira confides to Steph that she believes him to have been a "walking hatecrime" and potentially capable of "something truly awful". [SD 21] Edy believes that Adam never truly wanted to hurt anyone and only "did what he was told" (though he was still "bad" for doing it), [SD 32] and though her only goal was to get him out of the Church, [SD 44] only Dorley Hall had the resources to properly rehabilitate him. [SD 32]
First year
At intake
Adam was selected for the 2019 intake due to being indoctrinated into extreme homophobia, transphobia and misogyny by the New Church. [SD 21] He is nineteen years of age at the time he is abducted by Dorley. [LL] Bethany later states that she realized he was a "dangerous fucking headcase inside a quiet man’s body" at the time. [SD 36]
Adam initially pairs up with Leigh in the basement. While their relationship mainly takes the form of an ongoing ideological argument or debate, they are often seen offering each other comfort and reassurance and Adam often seems capable of calming Leigh when riled by Bethany. Leigh often allows Adam to lean against her on the couch [SD 12] and Adam is visibly dismayed when their physical contact is broken. [SD 13] Early on, following an incident where Diana throws a plate at Adam's head, bruising him "quite badly", the two strike a defensive alliance with Steph and Bethany to protect themselves against Diana, Ollie, and Raph. [SD 8]
Originally speaking in an oratorial tone, [SD 30] Adam quickly becomes quiet and withdrawn in the basement and is unforthcoming regarding his background and beliefs to the other basementees. Attempting to provoke a response, Steph is surprised when Adam reacts neutrally when she relays a fabricated story about a homosexual encounter. [SD 9]
Adam freezes up during the October examination by Karen and is arguably the most shaken by the experience out of everyone in the basement. While comforting him, Steph privately assesses that he is a "blank slate" devoid of coping mechanisms or useful emotional structures, leaving him particularly vulnerable to trauma. [SD 12] Adam is constantly jumpy and recoils from loud noises and raised male voices in particular. [SD 17]
Disclosure
Towards the end of November, Adam realizes he is growing breast buds and goes to Leigh, who puts the pieces together regarding the true nature of the programme; the following day, Leigh stages an attack on Maria. In the aftermath of the attack, Adam blames himself. [SD 17] While Edy is with Maria in the hospital, Indira allows Adam to see Leigh in her cell and the two get into an intense argument that leaves Adam in tears and nonverbal. At Indira's request, Steph goes to comfort him and keep him company. Adam asks Steph to join him in an unfamiliar prayer: "Your grace is your most precious gift. Please, Lord, make me worthy of it." Afterward, the two watch a movie and Adam reveals some details of his origins to Steph. [SD 18]
Following disclosure, Adam is more withdrawn than ever, only leaving his room in Edy's company, and eating and watching TV in silence. [SD 20] As time goes on, he starts taking most of his meals in his room and spends most of his time crying, reading, staring at the ceiling, playing video games, or sleeping. [SD 38] Edy realizes that his religious indoctrination has left him more strongly attached to his masculinity than she'd initially hoped. [SD 21] At some point afterward, Edy reveals to Adam that his intake is not the first to be regendered, believing that it will be useful for him to feel that he knows something the others do not, in a way that mirrors his religious teaching at home. [SD 30]
When Leigh returns from her cell in December, she makes an apology to Maria and Adam; Adam, screaming, rebuffs her. Edy calms him with a new prayer: "Grace is a precious gift. And it’s ours, not God’s, to give.” [SD 27]
Christmas
On Christmas Eve, Adam eats dinner alone with Edy, who reassures him that he is safe and that his father cannot find him. Edy is impressed when Adam consents to eat the food prepared by the second years, who according to the teachings of the New Church, are unclean, as is the food they have touched. Later that night, Edy shows him photos from the Christmas Eve party and reassures him that he will have the understanding of the women upstairs when he finally meets them, despite what he may have done in his past. [SD 30] Around one o'clock in the morning, Adam goes to the bathroom and encounters a set of locked double doors through which he sees Steph and Beth returning from the party in their formalwear. [SD 32]
Edy concocts a cover story for the two later that morning. However, Adam wakes Steph and Beth soon after, and in the common room, confides to them that he knows they were upstairs at the party the night before and that he understands that Edy is withholding facts from him to help him get through the programme. He states that Edy has promised to protect him and help him become a better person and reveals that he knows about "the girls upstairs". When Steph and Beth confess, Adam only seems interested in whether or not Steph enjoyed the party. [SD 32]
Edy gives Adam a matching necklace for Christmas. [SD 33]
January
Adam is in his room and is not aware of Ollie's suicide attempt until he is told by Edy after the fact. [SD 38]
After spending weeks in his room alone and having cut off contact with Edy, Adam finally emerges, ready to talk and demanding to leave the basement, just as the Hall is going into lockdown on January 13th. Having finally recognized his upbringing as a lie, he is now desperate to return to the Church to dismantle it and rescue his mother; stating that he does not even care "who" he leaves as. Realizing he has upset Edy, he finally calms down. Returning to his room, Edy reveals the entire truth and history of Dorley Hall as well as her own origins and the fact that they are half-siblings. Adam admits he was too young to remember her before she left the Church, but the disclosure is still enough to finally give him a clean break from his old life. [SD 42]
By January 22nd, Adam has returned to spending time in the common area of the basement with a fresh outlook on life; with no more secrets being held between him and the sponsors or basementees, he now recognizes his time in the Hall as the "most sustained period of real, genuine sincerity of his life". After watching a movie that touches on the idea, Adam has become "almost obsessed" with the concept of desecration; he finds the thought of making an unholy "abomination" of himself, the heir to the Church, exciting. [SD 44]
Adam starts working on connecting with other members of the intake, but Martin in particular, with whom he feels a kinship as social outcasts, and the two have been playing Stardew Valley together. He is also looking to rebuild his relationship with Leigh, recognizing that they are both different people now. [SD 44] The two have spent at least one night together talking. [SD 45]
Photos
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Pre-transition associates
- Father Adam: Adam's father and leader of the New Church.
- Mother: Adam's mother. At some point she was restricted from spending time with Adam. Adam recalls she wanted to "save" him, but he resisted. He now wants to return and save her. [SD 42]
- Edy: Edy grew up in the same cult as Adam and knew him as a baby before she was captured by Dorley. "Officially", Edy is Adam's second cousin, but she has reason to believe that they are actually half-siblings. [SD 39]
| Dorley girls (and a few non-girls) | |
|---|---|
| 2019 intake | Adam (Edy), Bethany (Maria), Diana (Monica), Leigh (Tabitha), Martin (Pamela), Ollie (Harmony), Raph (Jane), Stephanie (Pippa) |